New Rangers Globe Life Stadium Catches Fire Before It Even Opens

When they started building a new stadium for the Texas Rangers, they did not intend to set it ablaze in a bright, fiery show for their usual audience. But lo and behold, a fire did break out this weekend, sending billowing black smoke up in the sky above the new $1.2 billion dollar arena at Globe Life Field.

New Rangers Globe Life Stadium Caught On Fire Before It Even Opens

Fortunately, the fire was quickly extinguished – allowing construction on the premises to resume. The management is saying that everything is safe and under control – though we don’t know how we’d feel if we were expected to start working under conditions that are already hazardous on a normal day.

But the real question is, how will fans feel climbing up into the stands in a few months when the Rangers first debut their new stadium in March?

It’s too hard to tell just yet, but the question marks are in the air – and it’s safe to say, safety isn’t certain in the public’s mind just yet. It is reassuring to know that the fire was out within 30 minutes, and no one was injured. But that might not be so reassuring to anyone actually sitting in the stands if another one suddenly starts.

As of yet, no one’s sure exactly what caused the fire. With the investigation still underway, Arlington Deputy Fire Chief Jonathan Ingols says that his firefighters even trained for the possibility that this might happen – not because the place is a fire hazard, but because management knows how excited the townspeople are for the construction of the new stadium. And they want to make sure it stays safe. “It’s a long, hard climb up there with all their gear,” Ingols said, “but thanks to partnership with the Rangers and Manhattan Construction, we had practiced this.”

New Rangers Globe Life Stadium Caught On Fire Before It Even Opens

The billion-dollar ballpark’s retractable roof was closed for the first time last week, which signals a milestone in getting it ready for opening day in 2020. The Rangers and their fans will share the first taste of their new home stadium with the Los Angeles Angels.

40+ Brutal Jokes That’ll Have Americans Laughing Through Their Tears

40+ Jokes, Memes, and Gripes That Will Make Americans Laugh Right Before They Cry About Them

Everyone wants to love their country. But, unfortunately, all countries have their issues; their pros and cons. As Americans, one of the best ways to acknowledge our problems but also maintain our sanity is to tell jokes or make memes about the nation’s problems. In this list, we’ve accumulated dozens of jokes and memes about America that will absolutely make Americans laugh, but also make them wonder why such jokes have been made in the first place.

Financial Security? What’s That?

Many Americans can relate to the struggle — the jobs you can work just don’t pay enough to meet your most basic needs, so you have to work more than one. And yet, even though you work so hard, you still can’t afford what you need.

Financial Security? What’s That?

And, of course, there’s still always someone trying to tell you that you just aren’t working hard enough and that the economy is fine. Isn’t that just the best?

Hey, I Can’t Afford That!

If you assumed there will be a lot of healthcare jokes on this list, congratulations — you’re absolutely right! This is but the first, and it’s a joke many Americans understand. Unlike a lot of other countries, there’s a very big bill that comes with riding in an ambulance.

Hey, I Can’t Afford That!

If you happened to be unconscious from an accident and someone called an ambulance for you, you’d wake up to a huge medical bill that you had no say-so in. Needless to say, that sucks, even if we can laugh about this joke.

You Guys Get to Retire?

One of the core tenants of American life is that you work — a lot. In many countries, it’s expected for almost everyone to be able to retire. In America, that’s seen as something that only happens if you work yourself to the bone.

You Guys Get to Retire?

A lot of these jokes will compare our fine nation to our other first-world peers, which isn’t really a surprise considering how much better off they are in many of the ways we’ll be mocking.

20-Year Challenge

We’re not saying that all old Americans are misinformed and misguided, but you won’t see too many young people postulating that raising the minimum wage will cause huge problems. This joke makes a nice little comparison that reminds all of us of one simple truth.

20-Year Challenge

The price of products and services really isn’t affected that much by the minimum wage, and paying people something that they can actually live on is hardly something that should be frowned upon.

Be Grateful, You Runts!

Ah, education — one of the fields where America falls behind almost all of its peers. Our teachers already don’t get paid much at all, but on top of that, they have to spend their own money on supplies! That’s crazy, right?

Be Grateful, You Runts!

There are many jokes out there about how jacked up our education system is, and most of them revolve around how little our teachers get paid for doing such an important job. Trust us, a lot of teachers really are those cats internally.

U.S. Healthcare Indeed

Healthcare is very expensive for Americans. Even if you have health insurance, you can bet your bank account is going to take a pretty hefty hit, which is not what anyone wants to deal with right after they get out of the hospital or something.

U.S. Healthcare Indeed

This joke encapsulates the cost of getting hurt in this country perfectly. That said, we’re curious as to what was actually happening in this pretty funny picture.

Wait, That’s Not Right!

In America these days, the value of a college degree is far overstated. Not that education is bad, mind you, but many employers act as though any job in the world is impossible without a degree. This joke is a perfect indicator of how the exchange often goes.

Wait, That’s Not Right!

Nowadays, people are often telling you that you must have a degree to get a job, and then they also tell you that the things you learned in college won’t be of any value either. Is it just us, or is that the worst kind of funny?

If You Just Make Enough

As always, American healthcare is a crapshoot compared to most of the advanced world. Where people in other countries can easily continue to live relatively healthy lives regardless of their income, that’s not really the case here.

If You Just Make Enough

That’s right. In order to have nice things — like teeth, vision, hearing aids, overall health or medicine in this country — you’ve got to have that green and an unreasonable sum of it at that. If you forgot you were supposed to be laughing at these, remember that we also warned that they may make you a little upset.

Truly a Laugh

OK, we’re kind of cheating here. This is just a picture and not one that someone presented as a joke or a meme. But, we’re pretty sure that there are many Americans who can see how funny this really is — ya know, in that messed up kind of way.

Truly a Laugh

Behold, the type of labor the young are expected to perform in this country! Did you know that America is one of the few (if only?) first-world countries where servers and waitresses have to survive on tips instead of wages? But hey, as long as one of the benefits is a referral program, right?

Can’t Help But Wonder…

OK, everyone makes this joke about how Americans are some of the few people in the world that refuse to use the metric system — instead relying on a convoluted and very confusing system that involves inches and feet. This raises the question, what even is a foot?

Can’t Help But Wonder…

Presumably, it’s named as such because the measurement was taken from someone’s foot, but whose foot was it? Who was approached by whoever was making this measurement system, being told they had a perfect foot size to incorporate into it?

Low-Hanging Fruit

Yeah, yeah — Americans eat a lot compared to everyone else, har har. But, as effortless and unimpressive as this joke at our expense is, if you take a look at food in other countries around the world, it’s actually true that America has way bigger serving sizes than almost anywhere else.

Low-Hanging Fruit

So, while this is an easy joke to make and comedians could probably try a little harder, we can’t deny that there’s a fair amount of truth to this meme. Then again, most memes do possess some of that.

Gotta Start Them Early

The way that societies raise their children varies greatly depending on where you live. The joke in this meme is fairly obvious as it pokes fun at what American parents have to prepare their children for. But hey, we’re not the only people in the world that eat processed food!

Gotta Start Them Early

Though admittedly, we do eat a lot more than many other countries do. But you know, regardless of what Kraft cheese even really is, it’s pretty darn delicious, so can you blame us for being obsessed with it?

Did Someone Say Oil?

A running joke made at the expense of Americans for the last 20 to 30 years or so, almost everyone has heard a quip about how our country will invade just about anyone and anywhere if there’s so much as a scent of oil.

Did Someone Say Oil?

That’s obviously an exaggeration — we need to see a least one drop of oil before launching a full-scale invasion of another country. Duh!

Sleight of Hand

Have you ever wondered why George Washington advised against a two-party system in American politics? It’s probably because it makes it really hard for the country to ever advance on their major issues. But, this comparison to The Road to El Dorado is also spot on.

Sleight of Hand

We have to laugh about this kind of thing because it helps Americans keep their sanity — after all, you don’t really want to acknowledge how messed up a lot of these things really are, so shrugging them off as a joke really helps.

And Chop a Little Corner Off of That One!

When you have a country that includes 50 different states in a limited amount of space, it goes without saying that the borders between those states aren’t all going to be very interesting. About the time you get to the Midwest, you hit a bunch of states shaped like squares or rectangles.

And Chop a Little Corner Off of That One!

But, you know why that is? It’s because there’s nothing in the Midwest, so you don’t really have to divide it all that meaningfully. Have you been to Kansas? It’s just a bunch of crops, everywhere! Literally everywhere!

The American People

We’re not sure if there’s any meme out there that represents American history more than this one. Even in the earliest days of our inception, Americans didn’t agree on anything, and some of us would be fighting each other while others would be ignoring it or watching with concern.

The American People

The Revolution, the Civil War, the Civil Rights Movement, Vietnam — pretty much any point of political contention… yep, this screenshot from Spongebob is uncannily accurate.

Is it Even Worth That Much?

We know there are places out there in the world where people have it much rougher than your average American, but as far as first-world countries are concerned, it costs a whole lot of money just to be alive in this one.

Is it Even Worth That Much?

Yeah OK — that’s an exaggeration of sorts, but once again, we’re one of the few developed nations where we have to pay so much money just to be taken care of at a hospital after a dangerous accident.

With Our Powers Combined!

Surely you knew we’d have another joke about the metric system around here somewhere. Now, we don’t know if we’re the only country in the world that uses the Imperial system (technically the UK is officially metric) but we’re definitely one of the very, very few.

With Our Powers Combined!

And, of course, we’re super stubborn about it. No matter how often it’s pointed out to us that the Imperial system is nonsensical and the metric one is very simple and easy to use, we refuse to convert. Because America, that’s why!

The Flag of America

No, not that flag. The other flag, that represents the other thing everyone in the world knows us for — fast food! We’re not going to pretend that McDonald’s doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world, but we wouldn’t be surprised to learn that America has more fast-food joints than anywhere else overall.

The Flag of America

But man, couldn’t they have at least put Popeye’s up there instead? Is KFC considered even more American? We do suppose it has the name of a state in it…

Check Those Facts

Double D’s facts meme is one of the best, and we can’t help but laugh about this one. But, at the same time, we’re not entirely sure these “facts” are actually accurate in this case. This sounds like one of those statistics that gets made up.

Check Those Facts

Fellow Americans, did you know that 47.82% of statistics are made up? 31.09% of you won’t believe that, and another 12% won’t believe that 31.09% won’t believe that. Do you get our point yet or were we too subtle?

No, No They Are Not

Here’s another entry in the “Ha, silly Americans and their Imperial system” category. It’s one of our nation’s most mock-worthy facets, after all. In case you were wondering, a kilometer is absolutely shorter than a mile. Significantly so, in fact.

No, No They Are Not

Of course, if you don’t know how to do math properly, you may be thrown off by the 1 to 1.6 ratio, but it’s really not so bad. Basically, you can fit just over one and a half kilometers inside of a mile. Simple, right?

Sensing Some Sarcasm

Sarcasm is a great way for Americans to call out the things that tick them off while under the relatively safe guise of humor. This is a pretty good example of a joke that makes you laugh, then makes you ask, “Why is our country like this?”

Sensing Some Sarcasm

We are, once again, one of the few that have this issue as far as developed nations go. But, then again, we’re also a very young country, technically. Maybe we’ll get there when we’re as old and wise as Europe.

A Double Whammy

If you love your country but also know how to acknowledge its flaws, you will probably feel inclined to throw shade at your homeland every once in a while, all in good fun (usually). These burns are admittedly hilarious — even the most patriotic Americans can’t deny that.

A Double Whammy

OK, so some people might get offended, but jokes are jokes, right? Can’t please everyone. And if they get offended, doesn’t that just mean there’s an ounce of truth in there somewhere?

Comes Great Responsibility

If we’re going to crack jokes about America’s shortcomings, you can’t avoid our totally wack age restrictions and expectations. If you’re 18 years old, you can’t drink what you want, because clearly, you aren’t responsible enough for that.

Comes Great Responsibility

You can, however, rack up immense financial debt that will cripple you for years, as well as enlist (or get drafted!) into the military to potentially risk your life in foreign lands! Something seems quite wrong with that, doesn’t it?

Surprise, It’s Just Us!

America really loves being the only one to do something. We love being the only one that doesn’t use metrics, the only one that doesn’t offer decent healthcare — and, of course, being the only one to treat upper education like a money-making con.

Surprise, It’s Just Us!

Are you laughing yet? Yeah, why do we have to pay a college in order to apply there? As if their time is that valuable. Would you be surprised to know that most of Europe doesn’t do that?

The Country Is Just Too Big

A lot of Americans just don’t realize how massive this country is. A running joke, especially if you live in a place like Texas or Florida, is how you can drive literally all day and still be in the same state.

The Country Is Just Too Big

Seriously, in the time it takes you to traverse Texas, you could cross several different countries in Europe. Heck, you could traverse most of Europe in that window of time! This must be why Americans do everything as big as possible.

About Sums it Up

A lot of these jokes and memes are pretty harsh on America, admittedly. But, as Americans ourselves, can we really blame them? We kind of get their sentiments. We’re not going to pretend like America is the only country with dumb people in it, but…

About Sums it Up

…it really does feel that way sometimes, doesn’t it? Although, that’s probably just because we don’t hear about what dumb stuff other countries are up to on the news.

Ain’t That the Truth?

If someone were to ask you what living in America is like, you might have a few different responses ready for them. But, chances are, you’ll have to mention the money situation at some point. This wisecrack does a great job of explaining how it really feels.

Ain’t That the Truth?

You wish you could get some help, it’s just that you can’t really afford it. We get the feeling that a lot of Americans relate to this joke and feel that it hits a little harder than expected.

Shots Fired From the North

It’s not just Americans who can make jokes about America without earning our wrath. We’re also alright with our Canadian neighbors doing it — most of the time. That’s because you can generally be assured that a Canadian is talking trash in good humor.

Shots Fired From the North

Still, this crack about an infamous hot coffee lawsuit is a little low, since it doesn’t really do justice to the situation. That lawsuit was actually justified.

Night & Day

In the old days, most Americans would brag about America and talk smack about Canada, and vice versa for them. Now, things are mostly the same for the Canadians, but most Americans would rather speak well of Canada and actually pay it a visit instead.

Night & Day

Of course, this joke is a little over-exaggerated, but it sure does feel like the disparity is this great sometimes. From over here, Canada seems like a utopia. It isn’t, but it looks like one.

They’ve Got a Point Though

One of the oldest tricks in the book when it comes to Americans responding to any particular criticism of the nation is, “Something, something, FREEDOM!” Cue a screeching eagle in the background, if you’d like. Our neighbors are starting to wonder if all that freedom is causing hearing issues.

They’ve Got a Point Though

And this is what we meant earlier about Canadians talking smack — this is actually cute and pretty harmless. But, it also hits the nail on the head in a way that resonates with all of us and makes us ask some big questions.

Speak Not That Evil!

We wish we could say that all Americans are scared by the serious flaws in our education system around the country, but unfortunately, most people are either ignorant or willfully turn a blind eye. Both are pretty unfavorable.

Speak Not That Evil!

If this joke were accurate, that would actually be a good thing in our books, because it would mean that we’re all aware of our shortcomings. Unfortunately, all we can do is laugh uncomfortably about it.

Draw 25

We know, we’re beating a dead horse with all of these jokes about the metric system, but come on… they’re pretty funny. And this meme perfectly reflects our tendency to be stubborn on this matter even if it does nothing for us.

Draw 25

Seriously, fellow Americans — using the Imperial system isn’t even a very American thing to do. It was invented by Britain, and we’re pretty sure we were just trying to separate ourselves from their influence as much as possible.

The Prison Problem

Look, America has a pretty big problem with prisons. We’re very high on the list of nations when it comes to the total incarcerated population. A big part of that is the fact that prisons are run like businesses in this country.

The Prison Problem

But, this meme does a pretty good job of showcasing the reality of the situation, and why it’s so hard to bring about reform. Nobody wants to listen to the guy with the rational idea.

This Whole Operation Was Your Idea

You didn’t think you were going to finish this list without another healthcare joke, did you? Always more, there are. Unfortunately, not even Obi-Wan can make the unfortunate reality of this joke any less concerning.

This Whole Operation Was Your Idea

You’d be surprised to learn that health insurance tends to cost you more in the long run than it saves. And that’s generally the intent behind it. You didn’t think insurance companies had moral motives, did you?

Lost in Translation

Sport is a major part of any country. But, just because a sport is called the same, doesn’t mean it’s actually the same game! It also looks like some places (ahem… Europe) take their beloved sports more seriously than others.

Lost in Translation

It’s seriously embarrassing to see just how well-dressed European soccer coaches are — especially when you compare them with the completely slack and chill outfits of American football coaches. Can they really not class it up just a little?

Doggy-Sized

Yep, we’ve got another one laughing at the American measuring system. We just can’t help it — the imperial system is just a target that’s way too easy to hit. After all, it’s only about a mile long!

Doggy-Sized

Honestly, though, we really do think the world would be better off if we measured everything with adorable dogs. Just look at this fluffy measuring stick and tell us we’re wrong!

Speaking in Tongues

People love to make fun of us for being completely ignorant. But, honestly, we’re only partially ignorant! This meme definitely hits the mark, though. It hits extra hard when you consider the fact that so tons of people in the US have ancestors who emigrated from a different country.

Speaking in Tongues

So, it’s pretty crazy that so many of those origin languages completely disappeared through the years. We probably should have put in a bit more effort in Spanish class. Oh well, too late now. We’ll stick to learning how to English right!

Christmas Present

We’ve all been taught from a young age that if we wish and work hard enough, we can get everything we’d ever want. In all seriousness, why shouldn’t we get livable wages from the Mall Santa?!

Christmas Present

Oh, right! We can’t get it because this is America. Guess we’ll just have to enjoy our red pet dragon. Seriously, though, can we maybe get both this year? Pretty please?! We promise we made it to the nice list!

So Many Doctors, So Little Healthcare

Doctors repeatedly warn against the dangers of the extremely high levels of sugar in sodas and soft drinks. Yet, the US keeps coming out with new “medically-certified” drinks. At least we’re only the second-largest consumer of them (Mexico is actually number one!).

So Many Doctors, So Little Healthcare

But, come on — is there anything more American than a soft drink called Dr. Stripes (with the helpful logo of Stars & Stripes as an added bonus)?

Land of the Sick

Can you tell we’re really sick of the American healthcare system by this point? Because we really are. At least we’re not sick of making fun of it, though! And this meme perfectly shows what we feel any time we even start sneezing.

Land of the Sick

Really, we just can’t afford to be sick — time-wise, and when it comes to how much money a doctor’s visit can end up costing. It might not be a laughing matter. But, when you’re too poor to go to the doctor, what else is left to do?

So That’s What it Feels Like

Clearly, this entire list shows that we’re very well aware that the rest of the world loves poking fun at the greatest country on Earth. Well, they’re all just jealous, right? Still, that much teasing can really hurt a country.

So That’s What it Feels Like

So, hearing someone say that they actually like us is definitely a much-needed confidence boost. We love you, too, random foreigner! Seriously, though, can we get at least a few more compliments? It’s really helping our self-esteem.

The Theory of Relativity

People love to say that in the US everything is supersized to a completely crazy proportion. But, really, we just want our things to resemble the size of our massive country!

The Theory of Relativity

It’s why we think spending hours in the car is a completely normal thing, for example. It’s also probably the biggest culture shock that people get when they visit the US. But, really, it makes perfect sense when you think of it in scale!

This Is Right

Look, we know that the imperial system makes no sense — trust us, after so many jokes, we get it. But, there’s one thing we know we got right! And that’s measuring temperature in Fahrenheit!

This Is Right

Why should we care what the temperature feels like to a mass of water? We’re naturally egotistical, apparently, and we care about how the outside feels to our bodies. So, we’ll keep sticking to Fahrenheit, thank you very much!

New York, New York

Although sharks might seem a lot scarier, we’ve always known that a grumpy New Yorker is the most dangerous creature on the planet. But, it’s always nice to have this kind of information confirmed.

New York, New York

What we don’t quite get is why their weapons of choice seem to be their teeth. Really, though, just don’t get in their way on the sidewalk or subway and you should be good.

Time Free Zones

Time zones are a complicated matter. While they might feel like they should be divided equally by the longitudinal lines of the globe, geopolitics actually have a lot more to do with the division. That’s why, despite its size, China has only one zone — while the US has 11!

Time Free Zones

These many time zones mean that broadcasting companies have to jump through all sorts of hoops to be able to have just one schedule for the entire country. With the weird “Caw” system, the east and west coasts can see any premiere at exactly the same time. And that’s the definition of the American Dream, right?

At Least They’re Learning

What can we say, at least Americans are learning other languages now. Maybe what lit the fire underneath them is the growing desire to move to another country.

At Least They’re Learning

To be fair, English is the most important language in the world in terms of doing international business and working online. That being said, it’s still worthwhile to learn other languages—- at the very least so you can clap back at jokes like this one!

Suddenly, There’s No Money Left

Time, money, and emotional strength are the three things that you can always find more of if you really care enough. Obviously, when there’s a battle to be won, there are ways of coming up with the money.

Suddenly, There’s No Money Left

However, when people need help making ends meet in terms of rent and putting food on the table, suddenly there’s just no money left. We wonder if there will be funds available for the next international dispute.

Prove Your Point

Now’s the time to put your money where your mouth is and see whether or not the arguments made here were legitimate. If immigrants stealing jobs was the problem, there shouldn’t be a worker shortage, should there?

Prove Your Point

If that were really the issue, there’d be plenty of farmers waiting in line for the position! It seems that there were other reasons that people wanted to crack down on immigration. Any guesses as to what those reasons might be?

Who’s the Victim?

This comedian is named Frankie Boyle and, no, he’s not American. Boyle is Scottish but he jokes about a lot of countries through his comedy. To be fair, he’s basically just described every Hollywood movie ever made.

Who’s the Victim?

Maybe this is the film industry’s way of making their content more relatable to American audiences. We’ll give them this — it takes some serious audacity to pull a stunt like this and Hollywood’s actually managing to pull it off!

The Odd One Out

There always seems to be that one individual who just can’t go with the flow. It’s like no matter what you suggest, someone’s going to have to go against the grain and disagree.

The Odd One Out

Usually, it’s America that stands out but when it comes to driving on the right side of the street, the UK is the weird one. There has to be something that all these countries can agree on… oh, right! Taxes.

”Culture”

If that’s your office environment, then you should really just let your employees work from home. Why do people need to sit in a dark room for eight hours a day, at a depressing desk, not really talking to anyone because they’re too busy?

”Culture”

Why not just let them work remotely? They can travel the world, spend time at home with their pets, decorate their personal offices the way they want, and more. Plus, that way the company won’t have to pay rent for office space!

Harry Potter and the Americans

In all honesty, changing Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone wasn’t about an inability to understand the word “philosopher.”

Harry Potter and the Americans

The problem was that Scholastic was worried children wouldn’t want to read about a philosopher’s stone, since it sounded “archaic.” They thought that a sorcerer’s stone would be more exciting for young readers. Based on the Harry Potter series’ success, Scholastic had a point.

We Gained Weight Looking at It

This seems to be the fastest road to a heart attack, in case anyone is wondering about an efficient way to get there. Truthfully, we think we gained 10 kilos just looking at it! Sorry, we mean pounds, 10 pounds.

We Gained Weight Looking at It

If we’re being completely honest, we have to admit that this concoction does look tasty. However, it’s probably not worth the medical bills that’d come from such a meal. Especially if you’re American and those bills will put you in debt.

It Looks Like a Chad

This person has a really good point! This mascot looks like the animal version of a children’s movie villain. In fact, we probably all have someone from our school days who this image reminds us of.

It Looks Like a Chad

You know, that kid whose parents always bought them age-inappropriate clothes and who had an overly trendy haircut. You know, the one who peaked at the age of nine. Yeah, that’s what this eagle looks like.

Seriously… How?

We’re convinced that Southerners have superior immune systems because they seem to be able to eat exclusively fried food yet they haven’t gone extinct. Take anyone, from any other country, and put them in the South for a week with only the local cuisine as an option.

Seriously… How?

They’ll be in the hospital by the time the week’s over. Of course, they’ll have to spend all of their money on the hospital bill, so they won’t be able to afford a flight home. And so the cycle continues…

*Wipes Away a Single Tear*

Very few people have the confidence of Americans. To be fair, America is currently the strongest country in the world — although it’s also the most mocked. Americans make up some of the world’s richest people.

*Wipes Away a Single Tear*

It also boasts Hollywood, which surpasses any other country’s entertainment industry. Lastly, America has Morgan Freeman. That being said, the overwhelming amount of confidence American youth has is, admittedly, unearned. It’s entertaining on social media, though!

Work With What You’ve Got

Ah, American resilience! These patriotic people wanted to pledge their allegiance to the flag and not having a flag to pledge allegiance to wasn’t going to stop them!

Work With What You’ve Got

Ironically, the United States Flag Code states that the flag shouldn’t be used as a drapery, bedding, or apparel, as it’s seen as disrespectful. It even used to be illegal! However, we argue that everyone in this photo is being extremely respectful of the flag/this guy’s pants.

Driving the Dog

This is a whole new level of innovation and, you have to admit, laziness. What’s wrong with just walking the poor dog with your own two feet?!

Driving the Dog

The only way this is acceptable is if the person driving the car had some sort of medical issue and was unable to walk their dog normally. However, if they just didn’t want to be bothered with fresh air and exercise, well… this is why Americans have a reputation.

Fireworks Done the American Way

We have to admit that this episode of American Dad! has a valid point. Blow stuff up now and think about it later! Chances are, you won’t have to deal with the consequences later on.

Fireworks Done the American Way

We’re pretty sure that this is the logic that every Florida Man lives by. Was this bit specifically made for Florida? That would make a lot of sense! Or perhaps all of these Florida Men are getting their ideas from American Dad!?

The Only Education We Need

In all honestly, we probably will encounter a zombie apocalypse in the near future, so it’s something that the younger generation should be ready and trained for. As far as other forms of education go, they seem to have fallen by the wayside quite a few generations ago.

The Only Education We Need

At this point, Americans must be hoping for a zombie apocalypse because that’s the only type of future they’ll be ready for. If it does come to be, good ol’ ‘Murica will save us all!

The American Dream

In the not-so-distant past, it was said that most of the world wanted to come to America because of how awesome it was. That’s really not how things are anymore. In fact, it’s more accurate to say that many Americans in this generation would rather leave and go somewhere else.

The American Dream

But hey, when all of these other countries are lacking the huge, glaring problems that your nation has, who wouldn’t want to go live with them instead?

The Baby Bust

There’s a definite correlation between wealth and willingness to start a family. If you can barely afford to take care of yourself, having a kid is probably not very high on your list of priorities. That’s why a lot of young Americans aren’t interested in having families.

The Baby Bust

You know, low wages even though the price of living keeps going up, and all of that. There’s not a whole lot of spare cash to throw around, all things considered.

The Truth Hurts

A lot of young Americans feel this one all too well. Your parents, constantly reminding you that you have to go to college so you could be smarter and more successful than them, but when you actually do, they’re always unhappy about something. Why is that?

The Truth Hurts

Well, most people don’t like to be told that they should care more about things, or that they don’t know things, especially by those younger than them. That too is a harsh reality we can only joke about.

Well Said

Texas used to have a pretty favorable reputation in America, but in recent years, that popularity has seriously declined. Probably has something to do with many of their decisions as a state lately. Regardless of how you feel about it, this comment is pretty funny.

A Texas flag flapping boldly in the wind.

But, you know, doesn’t this logic imply that America as a country has a 50-star review? That sounds pretty amazing. Also really misleading, but amazing.

What Kind of Math Is This?

Jokes about the financial woes of this generation are the kind that we laugh about, but only because we’re all in pain. Shared agony is the easiest to joke about, after all. Seriously, though, why is it so hard to get a mortgage?

What Kind of Math Is This?

You would think that if you could afford the mortgage, the bank would let you have it. But, apparently, it’s just not that simple for some reason. Banks and financial institutions are beyond our comprehension.